a day on the calendar

This post is just to record a day on the calendar.
... As if to mark today as the day I've done one thing, an important thing, for the first time. I had to call a patient's son today to find out from him what her "Code Status" would be. I am learning to effectively and conscientiously navigate the waters of discussing: "What would you want to be done for your mother if anything  bad were to happen?"
This is a first for me, but sure to be a first of many. Successful? Only time will tell.

a new year

On the way to work this morning, I heard a radio host say this, "Why not call it a New Year's revolution? instead of a New Year's resolution." That does sound a bit more revolutionary, no?

Then, after my while of reading for today's cases after getting home, I picked up my book reading for the month. "The Reason for God" by Timothy Keller. Admittedly, my New Year's resolution is to read one new book each month while I continue my school work this year. A meager attempt to broaden my horizons, let's say.

It's January 3 and I'm on page 38 of 251.

It says:

"The new rebel is a skeptic, and will not trust anything... [but] therefore he can never be really a revolutionary. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind.... Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything.... There is a thought that stops thought. That is the only thought that ought to be stopped." - G. K. Chesterton

On the job

This marks the first week I have ever taken care of a ‘terminal’ patient. Humans can project a time they think another person will have left on this earth. But, who really does know? Only God. That’s what the patient told me. He said, “I’m happy.” “I’ve had a good life.” “But, then I thought, there was one thing wrong…I didn’t have my Word. I sent my wife home to bring me my Bible. It should be here in the hospital. I gotta get back in the Word.”

Dehumanism is something I never want to get used to in medicine. It’s not something any one ever tries to practice in medicine. But, more of us than not find ourselves caught in doing it. We see people at their very worst in medicine. In a hospital gown, no make up on, no personal hygeiene as they would normally take care of themselves, and with their individuality stripped the moment they get the charge of “Admit.” What is dehumanism? It is to deprive another of positive human qualities. To “make somebody less human by taking away his or her individuality, the creative and interesting aspects of his or her personality, or his or her compassion and sensitivity towards others.” His compassion and sensitivity towards others-- Every patient shows more compassion than I remember to on many occasions. They wish me “good luck” and “all the best” as I exit their patient room. I may have heard their heart with a nifty tool, but they penetrated mine.

Yesterday, I was given a hug by a deaf, mute, beautiful soul. He greeted me and the attending with the most vibrant smile I have ever seen. Without exchanging a single word, he welcomed us into his world-- Trusting that we were there to help. I could not have anticipated that blessing after extending one the morning prior. While making my way to the door, a patient sat up in his bed, trying to re-place his 2 socks that’d been taken off to inspect his ankles. Without hesitation I ran back to his feet, re-placed his socks one by one as he laid back at the waist with his one arm and his second-- mamed from a gun shot wound.

I never want to de-humanize others where it de-values them. But, I want to de-humanize myself where is makes me more Christ-like.

A yoke on 2 oxen makes 2 oxen better. By working together they can accomplish a task most efficiently & even enjoyably. I don't want to live my life alone & for just my purposes. I want to live my life for God's purposes and let him lead me where He wants as I'm yoked with him. I am made stronger and my burden becomes light. I do become burdened with what burdens God's heart but its so much more noble than what I would fret over on my own. God lets me play apart in carrying His burdens to be urged to act in His plan. That is noble & am a undeservedly willing & grateful. Lord, please grant me the ability to live up to what you have called me to. I can't do this alone.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30

Lord God I want to concern myself with what concerns you & I want to see things through your eyes. Give me your prospective and Be Thou My Vision...oh Lord of my heart. Not be all else to me save that Thou art.

this one's for Melanie ;)

so, last night a friend shared a video with me. John Piper spoke on God being an ego-maniac. Hum...I'd never thought of that before.

Well, think about it- God created the world with people in it so that we would praise Him & give Him glory. God made the world to be God-centered. He tells us to love Him above anyone, anything, or even ourselves. God created us to love Him above all. This world is not me-centered. This world is God-centered. From the beginning it was all for God's glory. In the end, this is all for God's glory. God COMMANDS us to worship Him. Why would anyone want to love this kind of God?

Haha that's the best part ;) Yes, God is God centered. God's Son is God-centered. We are supposed to be God-centered. Why is this actually the best way for us to live? ...

Have you ever stood on the top of a mountain? While you're there, what do you feel...insignificant? Don't you love that? Sometimes...don't you crave to stare into the sky and be reminded of your insignificance? I do. Insignificance reminds me God is greater. God is God-centered. His purpose is the same yesterday, today, and will be the same forever. I want to be a part of that God-centered purpose. Why? It gives me the best joy in the world- I am fulfilled by living out what I was created to do- praise God & lift up his glory by keeping this world God-centered.

God is God-centered....maybe a bit ego-maniacal. But He calls be to be that way to because He knows it will bring me the most joy.

So, it's 5:30 on Wednesday and I have studying to get back to. Thought I'd put in a short word and see what others' thoughts are. Off to my pathology lecture on "Acute Inflammation."

Praise God for keeping me energized & sustained.

2 more days!!

Christmas is right around the corner! It's so close and we are almost there!

These past 15 weeks have been incredible, challenging, exhausting, a blast, and my favorite thing to be doing. Nonetheless I am SO ready for a break. To friends and family- see you all soon! I hope your Fall season was a great one!

A verse that has encouraged me thus far: "Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!" Psalm 90:17

The Doctor Bag

Today was the day for our class. We all received our physician equipment! Now, I have a stethoscope, opthalmoscope, blood pressure cuff, penlight, reflex hammer, and few other gadgets. I really enjoyed practicing with the equipment in our primary skills lab today- I have performed my first few ear, nose and throat exams...now I just need to keep practicing.

This week has been a very good week. Long hours and much to do, but I have been enjoying my classes very much. Last Friday we removed the skull cap and brain of our cadaver...tomorrow we will move into the larynx.

For now, I will study the ten layers of the retina in the eye ball proper, then get some sleep.

Good night to all.